End of all hope
by ApplesandAlways
Summary: After everything that is happened in her past can she make it through all this. Sorry i haven't had my computer to upload :S I will try to this week!
1. sisters

**Okay so this is my first SVU fan fic so be nice please.**

**Sorry there is no E/O in this Ch. but wait it will come eventually :D**

Olivia POV (point of view):

"Captain, What's up?" I asked.

"A women was raped and murdered, her 15 year old was in the next room. No one can get anything out of her." I sighed,it was 3am but I was glad I got called in, it had saved me from yet another nightmare. I walked in the integration room. A girl with dark make-up, pitch black hair, and black cloths sat there.

"Hi, I am Olivia. What is your name?" She glanced over at me, and shifted in her seat. "I know this must be hard for you."

"It's Frankie...my name is Frankie."

"Oh well nice to meet you."

"You look really familiar. What was your name again?"

"Olivia. Olivia Benson." Her eyes grew very wide. "Are you okay???" I asked as softly as I could. What did I say?

She just sat there for a few seconds. "Do you need some water or something?" She shook her head. "Umm okay?? What's wrong?"

Her voice came out at such a hushed tone I could barely hear her. "I...I have no one. My mothers dead, I have no one!!!" She began to cry.

"You don't have any brothers or sisters. What about your dad??" I looked into her eyes she looked in mine with what seemed like...hope?

"My dad died 10 years ago and I never met him. As soon as he heard my mom say she was pregnant he ran. He was married and had two kids... they are both much, much older than me."

"What are their names? Maybe if we contact them we can find you somewhere to stay?" She looked down.

"Simon and Olivia...Benson" I just sat there to shocked to say anything. "I only knew your last name from this picture my dad gave my mom when they were dating. He said he had never seen her. I keep the picture in my wallet." She reached backward and pulled out her wallet, took out a peace of old newspaper and handed it to me. I unfolded it to find a picture of me in high school that got put in the paper for something I had done.

"But... how-"

"I don't know. All I know is if what my mom has told me is true I am your younger sister." Captain knocked on the window. I got up and left the room.

"What the hell just happened in there?" Captain asked.

"Family Reunion," I flashed Elliot a I-could-kill-you glare.

"I don't know, how do we know she is telling the truth???" I couldn't help but ask, but right after I did I could help but feel like she was. I mean my father does have a past.

"You can get a DNA test done. Olivia, if she is are you not going to be willing to find out and just leave her there." Of course I wasn't going to and they knew that.

I felt someones hand on my shoulder. I looked back and found that it was Elliot, even though I had already guest that.

"I'll ask Warner and on the way down I will ask her what happened. If she really think I am her sister she should talk."I stated as I walked out the door and back into the interrogation room. "Hey Frankie," She looked up at me,"hey do you want to find out if I really am your sister?" She nodded. "Okay fallow me." We walked out of the room and towards the elevator. I glanced at Elliot who glanced back but with a raised eyebrow. I kept walking forward.

"So who was that guy that was staring at you?" Her voice was still very soft.

"Oh my partner, Elliot."

"He's kinda hot for an older dude." I just coughed. Wow she likes old men, okay. I wanted to agree with her but held back. The elevator doors opened, no one else was in. "So you two together or something?"

I chocked.."What??!! Umm no... no way. Me and Elliot." I let out a small chuckle. I didn't want anyone to see my love for him, how could this girl who didn't even know me see it? Could everyone?

"You sure? Because I saw they way you guy were looking at each other." I just shook my head.

----------------------------------------(In car on the way to M.D's office)

"So what happened last night?" I asked Frankie. She looked down.

"My moms boyfriend an ass, he kept yelling at her, screaming. I couldn't handle it, so I snuck out. When I came back he was gone. I found her dead on the floor. I don't know who did it, but my guess would be her 'Honey'. I..I still can't believe she is gone, yea she was a total psychotic bitch, but I loved her."

"What do you mean she was a psychotic bitch???"

"She really LOVED my dad and she always blamed me for him leaving. She took up drinking and drugs and all that shit... she wasn't the same. She'd hit me a few times. Never approved my boyfriend. She was a complete mess." I knew exactly what she felt. She lifted her head back up and said "So what's your sob story?"

I weakly smiled and answered,"which one?" She smiled simply back at me. "So do you have any proof you snuck out last night?"

"Yea, my friend Cricket has a tape at our hang out. It was me and a couple of my other friends who have it rough we usually stay there when it has been a bad night. We sit down, talk, and record things. Our bruises things like that, so one day we can take down all our ass hole parents..."

We were finally here and Frankie and I walked up to Warners office. I walked in and Malinda greeted me and Frankie. We got the swabs done and just stayed there while we waited for the results.

Melinda came out with a brown envelope and handed it to me. I quickly opened the top and pulled out the paper. It stated that we are half sisters. I just stood there while Frankie snatched it from me.

"So ummm what know???" She asked.


	2. she can stay here and nightmares

-------------------She can stay here

I was back at the squad room. We were on a lead saying that Amaranda (Frankie's mom) killer was her boyfriend Thomas Trio. Although the only evidence we had was Frankie's word but that wouldn't hold up because she wasn't there.

"Hey El?" I asked.

"Hm"

"Did anyone ever question the neighbors to see if they heard anything?"

He smacked his head,"Oh my god! I can't believe we forgot. I guess we were all shocked you had a sister to remember."

"Well lets get to it." We walked to all the way down to the car. About half way there and neither of us has said anything. Elliot finally broke the ice.

"So were is she?"

"Um foster home for right know...I am gonna try and get custody of her. I called this morning and since I am her sister they are gonna call me tonight." My phone ran, I picked it up and read the caller I.D., 'Mattahan Family of the Court',"Or now!" I let out a small chuckle. Elliot smiled. God he had a perfect smile. I answered on the third ring. "Benson."

"Yes, this is Judge Bob Tyler with the Family Court and I am calling you to tell you that as soon as you get down here and sign the papers, Frankie will be in your custody." I smiled and had a big sigh of relief.

"I don't need a lawyer or anything?"

"Nope, the DNA proves you are her sister and she doesn't have anyone else."

"Thank you. I will be there as soon as I can. Do your offices close at five." He answered yes. "Thank you.. bye." I hung up my phone.

"So I take it you got custody?" I nodded. We got to the there and went inside for the never ending questions to be asked.

I finally go to the courts around 3:30 and signed the papers. I went and got Frankie and we drove to get her stuff which was in a storage, so she didn't have to back to the house. The crime scene was still there, and I didn't want for her to have to see it...again...

"Do you like Elliot??" She asked while bring on of her boxes inside.

"Um no..."I looked down. I wasn't lying I didn't like him.. I loved him. But there is nothing I can do....I don't even think he likes me.

"Your lying, I may not know you that well but I can tell when someone is lying."

"No I am not lying...I just. Lets just leave it at that." She rolled her eyes and walked up the stairs. Her room was a guest room I had. Never knew why I had it in the first place, no one I knew stayed the night. But know I am glad I had it.

When we were done packing it was around 10 and I had a long day ahead of me, and Frankie had school in the morning so we both head off to bed.

-----------Nightmares and untold stories

_"The hole is over in C-block. What are we doing down here?" I was walking down some stairs, going into a basement. Why I am down here. _

_"Shut up." Harris hissed at me._

_"Captain, I'm sorry I freaked because of the outbreak, I apologize." My voice weary and shaken._

_"Oh we're way past apologies now. Now shut up and do what you're told." I looked over and saw a mattress._

_"No. Don't" I whispered. I looked back at him. "What do you want?"_

_"What every guy wants."He grabbed my face._

_"Oh no, no no no." I became so over swept by fear._

_"And your gonna give it to me." He threw on the bed. I screamed for him to get off me, then called for help. He grabbed his walkie talkie and took it off so no one could hear. I kept screaming. "Keep screaming, they wont hear you." He unbuckled his belt. I jumped up of the bed. He grabbed me so I started kicking up! SCREAMING! All I could feel is the overwhelming fear of what might come next. He pushed me into the cold wall, pushed himself up against me. He finally undid my cuffs. I brought my elbow back and hit him as hard as i could in his face, then punched it. I started running! I hide behind a pill of boxes. I heard his night stick hitting the fence as he drew near. He kicked something over, I jumped. Smashed something else. I just stayed there hoping he wouldn't find me. I heard something else crash. He found me, I stood up and put my hands up. I said something. He chuckled. I walked around the boxes. He hit my stomach, then my back. I feel to the ground. As quickly as I could I hit him not caring where and ran to a door. I banged on it._

_"Help me!!!!!!"I banged more as hard as I could. Tears running at a hundred miles an hour. I turned around and he hit my face. Once more I feel to the ground. He turned me around. "No,"I cried out again. He took out hand cuffs and put it on my arm. Took the other and cuffed it to a bar on the window of the door. "Noooooo," I weakly said through my tears. I kept my eyes closed but I could feel him pulling in closer to me. I was grabbing his arm. "NOOOOO!!!!!!"_

_"Shut up!" I opened my eyes. His pants were undone I looked away and up at my arm. I sat, in tears, as he got closer to my mouth. "Bit and your dead!" _

I felt a sharp pain on my face that shook me awake. Tears coming uncontrollably.

"Olivia???You okay?" I looked up and saw Frankie. I forgot she was here."You were screaming like a mad man. I came in here and your were freaking out! You accidentally hit me." I just sat the tears still coming. "Olivia?"

"Sorry...sorry" It was all I could say.

"What's wrong?" She came over and sat by me.

"Nothing..." I trailed off.

"Doesn't look like nothing?" I sighed.

"It...it's just." I couldn't look her in the eye. "A couple months ago I went undercover at a prison as a prisoner."She looked up at me."The prison was on locked down and all the prisoners want to know what was going on. We started this big deal and it became a riot. I had to be sent down to the hole in C-block." The tears were coming back."I should have known not to go down there." I looked up at her. "He took me down there to have some fun time..."

"He raped you?"

"No, but he was inches away from me. Another detective stopped it... I don't know why I am acting like this, i wasn't even raped." I looked back down.

"Ooh, it doesn't matter that you weren't, you might of as while been. But be glad you weren't. You were assaulted though. Raped isn't about the actual ness of it. It's that he over powered you and there is nothing you could do. As close as you were you know feel exactly how a rape victim would." I pulled her into a hug.

"So why were you up?Was I screaming that loud?"

"No, I was already up. Looks like we both had nightmares tonight."

"It happens every night."

"Huh, weird me too, since I was thirteen."

"Why?"

"We've had enough sob stories for tonight don't you think?" I nodded.

"Hey, it is four am, I thought by going to sleep at ten I would have been up by twelve."

"Haha, want some coffee?"

"Sure." I fallowed Frankie into the kitchen.

**Reviews!!! Loved it! Hate it. I dont care**


	3. Meet my boyfriend

---------------------------------(liv's apartment)

"Come on Frankie! Why not?" I blurted out at her while I was in the kitchen get a plate of food Frankie made for us.

"Because I don't think you'd like him." I walked back into the dinning room and sat down.

"I have met a lot of psycho's in my life I am pretty sure I can handle your boyfriend." She let out a small chuckle, as did I.

"I don't know..."

"So your not gonna let me met him because you don't know." I laughed again, and cut into the pork.

"No...I think I don't like people meeting him because my mom never approved." I nodded.

"I know what you mean." I grabbed my cup of water and took a drink. "So?"

"Fine! I will tell him to come over Friday." I smiled at my success.

When we finished we both went into the living room to watch some television till 12 then headed off to bed.

---------------------------(at squad room 1-6)

I watched through the glass. I can't believe that scum bag! He is gonna sit there and lie through his teeth. Thomas is saying he wasn't even at the house that night and of course his alibi sucks. He has no one to say he was at summer house. All the neighbors heard them fighting, heard the crashes and the bangs. All we needed was his DNA to match the blood under her fingernails. But we still couldn't get a judge to agree to making him give it up. I started feeling dozed.

_His night stick rattled on the metal fence._

_I let out a scream for help but also my agony._

_His erection drawing closer to my mouth as I sat on the floor helpless._

"Olivia?" I turned and saw Captain moving his hand towards the door. I went in and let Elliot out. Anger boiling inside of me.

"So Thomas, heard you get a little rough."

"That bitch is lying, I didn't hurt nobody." Building my anger up, he was no help.

"Really." He nodded."And I am Queen Elizabeth." I rolled my eyes. "Listen, we both know what you did. Why don't you just come clean already."

"I did nothing! All I ever did was love her." I slapped my arms down on the table.

"Love her!? What like prisoner loves his bitch, because from what your telling me your gonna get the same kinda lovin."

He stood up and flung his chair back. I looked up at him and took my weight off the table.

"Listen lady I wasn't there. You can ask the people next door."

"Oh we did. They heard you two fighting."

He walked up close to me and whispered in my ear."You can't prove nothin." I couldn't take it anymore my anger getting the best of me. I lifted my arm and hit him in his eye. When he feel to the ground I walked over.

"I work my ass off putting creeps like you behind bars. I can prove anything." I lifted my leg and swung it at his gut, then did it again. I lost it and blacked out. Next thing I know I am in a hospital. I sat up.

"Liv, it's alright your in a hospital." Elliot said as he stood up and walked over to me.

"What happened?"

"You blacked out and nearly killed Thomas." I looked down. I heard some foot steps and looked back up. Captain was walking in the door.

"Captain, I'm sorry. I don't know what happened."

"It's okay Olivia, I understand." He walked over to my bed and pushed Elliot away. "Elliot can you please leave for a moment?" Elliot got a confused look on his face but fallowed his orders."Olivia you have to take time off."

"What? Captain I can't."

"It is not an offer, it's an order. It will be paid. Just don't come back till you get better."And with that he left the room.

A few minutes later my doctor walked in and told me I could leave. All I have to do is not be around stress for a while. I avoid Elliot on the way out.

--------------------------(in the hallway to her apartment)

I walked up to my door slowly. When I got to the door I searched for my key.I put it in slowly and turned the handle. I walked over to fridge and pulled out a bottle of beer. I popped opened the lid. I walked over to my couch to relax.

*Thump*then moans.

I walked in the hall to my house and towards Frankie's room. There was a thumping at a rhythm and moans fallowing. I flung open the door.

"OH MY GOD!"Frankie called out from underneath a unknown man.

"Oh my god is correct!" I yelled out. Their eyes shot up at me in horror.

"Shit!" She called while reaching down for her sheet.

I looked over at the man getting off of her but with her blanket."Who the hell are you!?"I yelled once again.

"He's my boyfriend!" This time she yelled. My eyes locked with hers.

"Get out now." I was trying to calm my voice, but it was still very stern. He was grabbing his close from off the floor.

"Sorry Marco, I thought she'd be gone longer." She watched him gather his belongings. I glared at her in disappointment and hurt of what she said.

He walked up to me but before he could say anything I cut him off"Go now!"

I watched him as he walked out the door and I turned around and Frankie was putting back on her shirt.

She grabbed her pants and looked back at me."Do you mind?" I turned back around and faced the door.

"What the hell was that?"

"What was what? Me and my boyfriend having sex? That what?"

"Yes! That what!"

"You can turn back around."I did. I walked over to her.

"Why?"

"I love him! I have been dating him for 2 years."

"So that just makes you think you can have sex?"

"Hm love? Yeah I think that is a pretty good reason."

"Well it's not just because you love someone doesn't mean you can have sex!"

"Oh why your saying that just because you can't. Well sorry I'm not you, I don't want to slept with someone I can't."Ugh she was saying the truth!

"You can?! How old is he?"

"16! See I can!"

"Have you ever thought he might be using you for sex?"

"Oh my god! Of course not!"

"What makes you think that?"

"One, he loves me. Two, it was our second time in the 2 years we've been dating!"

I heard knocking on the door.

"Answer it! I am going to my friend Crickets"

"Oh no your not!"

"Yes I am! What are you gonna do? It's not like I gonna go to anything bad like drugs or anything." With that remark made me wonder if she does to drugs. Another knock came out of the door.

"Hold on!!!" I yelled."Frankie, do you do drugs?"

"Of course not! I have places to go with my life! Now answer the door before who ever is knocking breaks it!"

I turned around and she slammed the door when I walked out. I opened the door to find Elliot.

"What is going on in here?"

"Frankie and I were arguing."

"Damn the third day here and you guys are all ready fighting."

"ha ha." I said sarcastically. I heard mumbling coming from Frankie's room. I walked over to the door and hushed Elliot.

"Hey Cricket"pause"yeah it's me. Hey listen meet me at The Shed"another pause"no she didn't hit me! I just can't stay here! Alright you bring it and all bring mine! Alright, m-bye"

She hung up her phone. Then I heard a bunch of rattling coming from her dressers. She started walking over towards the door and I ran the other way. She walked out.

"Oh hi, Elliot" She said walked past him."Bye O-Liv-ia" She said as she slammed the front door.

"Well that was interesting" Elliot said. I glanced over at him and rolled my eyes.

"How did you do it?"

"Do what raise my kids?" I nodded. We both laughed.

**ohhh Liv's all pissed off and Elliot there!!! What will happen next???**


	4. You finally know

**This chapter gets kinda smutty so if you do not want to read I will tell you what happens :D**

---------------(were we left off in Liv's apartment)

I walked over to Elliot and handed him his beer. Then sat down on my couch next to him. I pick up my beer which was almost gone.

"So why did you get sent home?"

"Well El if you remember I almost killed Thomas." I let out a little giggle with my remark.

"No Liv, I mean what set you off I mean I have only seen you like that when everything was getting all messed up with you and you brother. What's up?"

"Nothing El, I'm fine."

"You call that fine?"

"No.." I couldn't look in eyes. "So hows Kathleen?"

"She is fine getting the helps she needs. Why are you avoiding answering me?" A single tear feel my cheek. I turned away from him.

"I don't want to talk about it." I said trying to hide all the other tears soon to fall.

"Liv if it is bothering you this bad you need to talk about it." I turned back to him. Tear unable to stop. " Liv?"

"He tried to rape me!?"

"Who?" Anger was in his voice.

"Harris! He brought me down to the basement to..." I stopped in the middle of my sentence. I couldn't finish! It was to embarrassing.

"Oh my god Liv." He walked over to the couch, sat down next me, and gave me a hug. "Thank you."

"For what." I said through my tears.

"For finally telling me. I know that that was hard to do." I looked up at him and into his comforting blue eyes. He moved in closer and gently placed his lips on mine. I wrapped my arms around his neck to deepen the kiss. I laid back on the couch and Elliot got on top of me. I sat up a tore apart from him.

"What about Kathy?"

"Screw her. I only went back to her for Eli." I smiled. I reached for the back of his head and pulled him in again. I wrapped my left leg around his waste and would feel his hard length on my thigh. I put my hands up his shirt. I slowly pulled it off. He unbuttoned my shirt and slid it off my shoulder and dropped it to the floor. I pulled him back down but he let go of my mouth and moved to my neck. I let out a small moan. I felt his smile against my bare skin. He moved father down on my torso kissing every each of the way. I pulled his head back to my mouth. It was such a passionate kiss and it made me feel so weak to his touch. He reached to my back and unhooked my bra. He took off slid it with the very tip of his fingers. I pressed his chest against my own both naked. I moved my hand from his back to his pants. I shifted to the button and undid it. I moved his pants down as far as I could and he kicked them off the rest of the way along with his boxers. He rubbed his hands from my body to my pants and pulled them off. I looked into his eyes so much lust and desire. I deepen the kiss once again. He thrusted into me. I let out another moan as did he. He thrusted in and out each time getting more intense. I wrapped both my legs around him and buckled my hips for better entry. He thrusted once again and I could feel that I was close.

"El... Oh GOD! I'm close." I moaned as he pushed in me once again.

"It's okay Liv... I'm right behind you." He said inbetween breaths. He moved faster and faster I tried to hold back for a little while longer.

"OH! OH GOD ELLIOT! IM-" I let out a loud moan as I came. Elliot just seconds after me. He fell on my chest. I could feel his hearts beating wildly. He was still in me. I could feel my adrenaline kicking in again and Elliot could feel it too. He lifted up off my chest and kissed me again. I rubbed his back once more begging him to start again. He got my message and did this time he worked at a much slower pace. My finger nails scratching all the way down his back.

"Holy shit!" I looked up and saw Frankie standing at the beginning of the hall. Mouth agape she just stood there. I looked back at Elliot who was still in me. He got up a took the blanket off the back of the couch and wrapped it around me and him.

"Umm I can explain?" I said not so sure I could.

"Explain? What?" She looked over at us."That your a hypocrite?"

"Lets not talk about this now."

"Talk about what? That you were caught doing you partner on your couch??"

"Yea that." I said very weakly.

"Um. Can you please not tell anyone about this?" Elliot asked.

I looked back at Frankie.

"Why would I? I mean really I am not mad that you two did it! I am mad at her for being a fucking hypocrite."

"Um. Thanks?" He replied.

"I think you should leave El." I said looking back at him he nodded and got his pants on. He picked up his shirt. "See you tomorrow." Then he walked out the door.

I picked up my shirt and pulled it over my head. Then my pants. I looked back at Frankie who was still standing in the same spot she has been for 2 minutes.

"Look I'm sorry I flipped out on you." I said to her.

"You should be! But that's not all you should be sorry for!"

"What do you mean?"

"You told me that just because I am in love not to have sex. But you'll go around fucking your partner!. Then you accuse me of doing drugs! Then make my boyfriend feel like shit!"

"You're right. I shouldn't of done or said those things. I don't know I guess I am still stressing out."

"Look I understand you're stressing but that doesn't give you the right to take it out on me. Plus you're my sister not my mother." I nodded.

"Im sorry. But some of the reason I said those things is because you're only 15. And yes I am your sister which makes me protective." I said as I walked over to her.

**Aww they are working things out and acting like real sisters. And Dun-Dun El and Liv slept together how will this affect everything. Keep reading and find out! **

**Reviews people. Is it good, bad. I don't care as long as I know people are reading it :D**


	5. You're Only 15

**Okay this is leaving exactly were it left off :D hope you like this chapter!**

**----------------------------------------------------------(Liv's Apartment)**

"Im sorry. But some of the reason I said those things is because you're only 15. And yes I am your sister which makes me protective." I said as I walked over to her. "You have all the time in the world to do these kind of things."

"You've had eight years." I stared at her not believing what she just said.

"You don't understand my position with what just happened. The reason we didn't before is because partners can't sleep together and he's married. But that is not the issue right now." She was looking at me with dagger eyes. "How old were you when you lost it?"

"How old were you?"

"Sixteen, and I regretted it." I looked back over at my beer and took a swing. "Now how old?"

"You really want to know?" I nodded." Alright, thirteen." I eyes got wide.

"Excuse me?"

"Yea, thirteen fucking years old!" Tears swelled in her eyes.

"Why thirteen? Weren't you concerned about the risks." She got up and walked over to the wall.

"It wasn't..." She trailed off and slide down the wall and burst into tears.

"It wasn't what? What you thought it would be?! Didn't you ever once think you could get pregnant?!" She cradled her head in her knees.

"It wasn't my fault!"She yelled. "It's not my fault!!!"She slapped her head. I just sat on the couch watching her hit herself.

"Whats not your fault?"

"Poor Alexander." She said, I could barley hear her. I walked over to her and sat with her, against the wall. She kept mumbling 'Poor Alexander'.

"Frankie, whose Alexander?" She looked at me, her eyes were all puffy from crying.

"He's my son."

"Your WHAT!?! What happened to him?"

"He lives with his foster parents. I see him once a month..."She put her head back down.

"Is Marco the father?"She shook her head.

"That fucking bastard is!"

"You just said you loved him, now you're calling him a bastard?"

"Not him! He could never do that to me." She put her face back in her knees.

"Do what?! What are you talking about?"

"Thomas! He'd sneak in my room at night. He'd molest me every night and my mom never believed me! When I got pregnant she blamed Marco! We hadn't even done anything yet. I was only 13! That sick bastard started when I was 11!" She weeped someone in her knees and looked back up at me. "I couldn't keep Alexander, I wanted to but she wouldn't let me. I can't even sleep at night because of Thomas, I didn't need Alex to remind me either. But I love my son!" I pulled her into a hug, she was still crying.

"Frankie, I'm sorry. I didn't know."

"No you didn't so before you judge me, let me explain myself." I pulled away from the hug.

"Okay."

"He's two. Alexanders two years old. He's is the beautiful baby ever. I am suppose to get custody when I turn 18."

"Why can't you now."

"You know how you asked if I did drugs?" I nodded, very concerned I placed my hand on her knee telling her to continue. "Well I did before after Alexander was born. They found out and I couldn't see him and was sent to Juvenile Hall. I was there for a couple of months. They said that I could have him till I was 18. Besides I want to finish school a possibly go to college. I just want him to be happy."

"That is understandable." I got up and walked back to the couch and Frankie fallowed. "When I was sixteen I had a pregnancy scare with my boyfriend at the time Matt Lovett. He was so into me, he actually proposed. He didn't know i thought I was pregnant and only went out with him to piss off my mom. I said yes, to get away from her."

"Why?"

"Did I want to get away from her?" She nodded. "Because, she my own psychotic bitch." We both laughed. "Anyway, she got mad and got him expelled. I told him I couldn't do it. He lost everything...me, and his career before it even started. The night I told my mom I was leaving, she tried to kill me." I could feel my eye getting wet. "Listen, don't you think you should head off to bed."

"For what 2 hours of sleep. Nah I'll pass but I will get on my computer." I nodded and she walked off to her room. I wiped out my phone and dialed my best friend in the world's number. I hadn't talked to her since she left the unit. To ring and she picked up.

"Hello,"

"Hey Casey it Olivia."

"Oh hi Olivia! How is everything?"

"Good, I found out I have a sister."

"Really!? Damn first a brother now a sister whats next a grand baby!." We both laughed.

"Yeah her name is Frankie, she is 15."

"How did you find out she was your sister?"

"Long story. Her mom was killed and we had her interrogation and yea we just kinda find out." Pause, "she lives her know. Has for three days."

"Oh that is interesting."

" here is something even more interesting," I took a breath in, "Elliot and I slept together tonight."

"Finally!"

"Finally?"

"Oh come on Olivia! Everyone knows that you two like each other!" I shifted in my seat.

"It was that noticeable?"

She let out a chuckle, "YES!"

I let out a sigh, "I always thought it was. I guess I just hoped that it wasn't."

"Oh it was. So what are you going to do about the job?"

"I don't know we didn't really get to talk... Frankie walked in and we got into another fight, Elliot left in the middle of our fight."

"So what are you going to do?"

"I don't know. I'm glad it happened but..." I trailed off.

"But what?"

"He's married, he has five kids. I love this job so much! I couldn't even begin to think about not being partners with El."

"Liv you've already crossed the line. You are gonna have to think about it now."

"Your not gonna call Cragen and tell him are you?"

"Of course not! But I think you guys should."

"You right... I just want to finish this case with him."

"Okay, well I have to go. Call you soon!"

"I will. Miss you. Bye."

"Miss you too. Bye." Then the other end of the line went dead and I hung up my phone.


	6. Matt!

-------------------------------------------------------------------(Liv's Apartment [A few days later])

I sat on my couch talking to Elliot on the phone I felt like such like a teenager. "Listen El, I am fine. I am ready to go back."

"Are you sure Liv?" He asked.

"Yea, I mean I have to go back sometime, right?"

"Right. But only when you are better."

"Elliot I am fine!"

"Alright!" We both paused. "You know how hard it has been not being able to see you?"

"The same as it has been for me." I said, I picked up my pellow and started playing with the edge.

"Yea. What are we going to do?"

"What do you mean?"

"About us?"

"Well... Elliot, lets face it. You're married! As much as it hurts me to say it, we're just partners. That is all we will ever be."

"Liv, don't say that-"

"Say the truth?"

"No, because that is not the truth and you know it!" I rubbed my forehead.

"I know it's not. But really El there is nothing we can do. We slept together, that is it."

"You know it is more that that."

"Lets just get through this case then we'll talk about this."

"Okay."

"Okay, I will be in in about a hour." Before he could say anything else I hung up. What was I doing I can't let him ruin his marriage! I let my head fall on the back of my couch. "Fuck!" I yelled as loud as I could. I stood up and walked to my room to get ready.

------------------------------------------------(1-6)

I walked in the doors. "Hey Liv, long time no see." I looked over to see who said that even though I already knew it was Munch.

"I was gone a week!"

"Well we missed you! Elliot was partnered with Fin!"

"Ooh I guess I am gonna have to apologize to both of them." We both laughed. I walked over to Captains office and knocked.

"Come in." I pushed in the door.

"Hey Captain."

"Olivia? Back so soon?" He raised his eyebrow that was barely noticeable.

"You know me, can't stay away from here." I smiled as did he.

"Well glad to see you doing better, lets get you back to work and caught up." I nodded and walked out of his office, he tagged along. I glanced over and saw Elliot. My stomach dropped, it was the first time we had seen each other since we slept together. Elliot sat up in his chair.

"Thomas is the murder." Cragen said.

"Then why are we investigating?" I asked.

"Because he was hired, won't give the name though." Fin said walking up toward the board. "We think it is this Matt guy." I looked back at the board and his picture popped up. I started at it for a couple minutes.

"Olivia?" Elliot said as he waved his hand in front of my face. I shook my thoughts. "You back?" I nodded.

"We don't know his last name." Munch said, sitting behind his desk.

"Lovett." I let slip out.

"What?" Captian asked and everyone looked confused.

"His last name is Lovett." I said quitly.

"You know him." I nodded my head. "Well then looks like you and Elliot will be paying him a vist then." I looked over at Elliot who nodded with approval. I never wanted to see Matt again! But know I have to! We headed over to his house.

-----------------------------------------------------------(Matt Lovetts Apartment)

We started walking towards his door. "Elliot, I'll knock."

"Okay." We reached his door and I knocked loud enough for anyone in the house to hear.

"Matt, hey it's Olivia." No answer. "Matt come on, open the door." No answer. We started to walk away and I heard the door click. I turned back around and tapped Elliot's arm to let him know someone was answering. The door swung open and I could instantly smell the alcohol. " Hey Matt."

"Olivia what are you doing here. I have seen you since the day you gave me back my ring." Shit! I looked back at Elliot. His face became red, and hot.

"That is not why I am here Matt and I think you know that."

"No, actually I don't know why you're here." He moved aside and let us in.

"I am a cop now-" He cut me off.

"You don't say. Well when we were dating you were pissed at the cops."

"People change. Listen, your name came up in our investigation."

"May I use your bathroom?" Elliot asked. That was a first I have ever seen him to ask to use a bathroom while asking questions.

"Yea down the hall, first door on the right." Matt replied. Elliot headed off. "That is not very professional." He said to me.

"Matt, I just need to ask you some questions."

"Me too, will you go on a date with me." I narrowed my eyebrows.

"No, let me finish what I am saying-" I was cut off again, but this time by a kiss. I could taste the alchohol. I moved back in shook but Matt fallowed and his lips never left mine. He pulled away. I saw Elliot in the door way. His eyes were filled tih hurt, looked away and ran out of the house. I got up, but Matt arms infront of me. "Move!" I pushed his arms away.

"I'm sorry Olivia I had no idea." He reached out and touched my shoulder. I pushed his hand off.

"Don't touch me! The only reason I agreed to marry you in the first place was to get away from my mom! Don't ever touch me again!" His eyes filled with tears but I didn't care. I cared about Elliot. I ran out of the house and down the stairs to outside. I couldn't find him anywhere. I walked over to the side of the building and leaned against it. I put my hands to my head and covered my face. I heard some heaving then whippers. I looked over in the alley and saw Elliot sitting on the nasty ground, crying? I walked up to him. "Elliot?"

"Don't even say anything Olivia."

"Elliot, it's not what you think."

"I don't want to hear it!" He yelled at me. I sighed. "Listen, lets just go back to the house."

"Fine." I snapped at him.

-----------------------------------------------------(1-6)

"Why the hell are we no were new?" Captain asked.

I had to think fast. "He wasn't there. Well go back tomorrow."

"Okay." He headed back to his office. I looked over at Elliot who was still very pissed but was trying not to let it show.

**come on people reviews please! I won't post any new chapters till i get some I already have up to chapter 11 done and still working I will eventually put them up even if no one reviews because I have people that are going to read this just some reviews would be nice :D.**


	7. I love him!

-----------------------------------------(Liv Apartment)

"I just don't get it! He won't even look at me!" I said to Frankie and Casey.

"Olivia he is just mad. He'll get over it." Casey reinshered me. I took a sip of my hot chocolate.

"Yeah, you're porbbably right..."

"You just need to calm down." Frankie said, she was sitting on the floor in front of me.

"Maybe you should call him?" I looked over at Casey who was sitting beside me on the couch.

"No, no, no." I let out a helpless giggle.

"Why not?"

"Yea 'Livia why not? He's already had some time to calm down."

"HE was so pissed at me. I don't blame him. I would still be pissed at me, I am still pissed at me."

"Why? You didn't kiss him, he kissed you."

"Yeah, I know. It was an accident, but that doesn't matter. I hurt him! I hurt Elliot and there is nothing I can do. We're just partners and that all we'll ever be."

"Olivia don't say that. He'll come around."

"Thanks Casey, but I don't know if he will. God he's at home right know with his wife and kids!" I took a deep breath in, trying to hold back tears. "She is holding him. She's the one he goes home to, not me. I am the one who made a stupid mistake. But she doesn't even know what he did!"

"Oh my god, Liv. You know he only went back for Eli." I ignored what she said. I looked back up and Frankie got up on the couch. I looked at the both of them.

"I love him." I said weakly. "Oh my god! I love him!" I put my hand on my head still trying to hold back my tears.

"Wow, there's a shocker." Frankie said. Casey let out a small laugh.

"Guys, don't be smart please." I pleaded. I sat my cup on my coffee table. "I don't know what to do."

"I don't know what to tell you." I looked back up at Casey. "I have to get home and start my paper. You will probably have to get to work soon since I know your already late..."

"Paper?"

"Yea I am going back to college for medical."

"That should be interseting. I can see it now, Dr. Casey Novak M.D." We all laughed and my phone went off. I looked at the caller I.D. 'El'.

"Well I gotta go." Casey said and walked out the door I answered my phone and Frankie walked back into her room.

"Benson,"

"Hey Olivia, it Elliot. Cragen wants us to talk to 'Matt." He said Matt's name so sarcasticly. I took another deep breath in.

"All right. I'll be there soon." I hung up my phone and walked up to Frankies room and knocked.

"Come in," she shouted. I opened the door nd she was on her computer.

"I have to got to work. I don't know what time I'll be back."

"Okay, I have to go somewhere anyway. I'll lock up the house." I nodded and headed off to work.

**Sorry its so short but it had to be to follow my outline :D**


	8. Your moms killer

----------------------------------(1-6)

Things were weird between me and El. He wont even take a second glance at me.

"What's up with them?" Greylek asked walking by.

"They've been like this all day." Munch said.

"Did you two go question Lovett yet?" Cragen asked.

"No, somebody was late." Elliot blurted out.

"Sorry, but if I remember right you HAD to make coffee." I blurted back.

"Stop bickering and get down there." Cragen yelled. We knew we were pushing the envelope and we were getting dad mad. We grabbed out jackets and left.

-----------------------------(car)

"Aren't you just so excited we get to see your_ boyfriend_?"

"Elliot, don't even go there! He kissed me. We had a past but that is exactly what it is, the past. He means nothing to me."

"Olivia, it doesn't matter you still kissed him. I would never do that to you!"

"Never do that! You go home to your wife every night!" He took a deep breath and gripped the steering wheel as hard as he could, it made his knuckles white. He turned the wheel and pulled up to Matt's apartment building. We got to his door and knocked.

"Matt it is the police open up!" Elliot knocked again but harder. The door swung open We looked at each other and entered. The house was empty as we ran from room to room. Most the the furniture gone and no papers left behind. "Nothing," Elliot said as he ran back to the vacant bedroom. "I'll call the crib and see where he could have gone." I nodded. He pulled out his phone. "Hey Munch, he's not here." pause," okay thanks." he hung up.

"Whatcha got?" I walked up to him.

"His dad owns a house in Rhode Island."

"Okay." We headed out of his aparment and to Rhode Island.

----------------------------------------(Robert Lovett's house 116 Main St. Rhode Island, New York)

We walked up the door as a gun shot went off. I lifted my leg, placed my arm on the walls for support, and kicked the door in. I pointed for Elliot to go one direction and I went the other. No one was in the kitchen. A crash came from the way I had sent Elliot. I ran back toward the door and into the living room. A wounded man was bleeding out on the floor and Matt and Elliot were fighting. I knelt down and checked the dead mans pulse. I recognized him. He was Matt's father Robert. I heard a gun cock back and I looked up. Matt had the gun to Elliot's head. I reached for my gun.

Matt noticing my gesture spat out, "Don't even think about!" I moved my hands back in front of me.

"Matt why are you doing this?" I asked.

"Oh silly fools. Don't you see!?" I shook my head."I still love you Olivia and I always will. When you left me all those years ago you broke my hear! I never got over you."

"Matt that was 25 years ago, you need to let go."

"No, never. After about a year after you left me I decided to ruin you. I was old friends with Thomas. After Frankie's dad left he stepped in the picture all on his own. I didn't even know she was your sister till Thomas showed me. That was when I had made my plan to destroy you. I told Thomas to stay, he didn't want to, but he soon found a reason... Frankie. She was his little sex toy." I reached back for my gun again but this time very slowly. I was tearing up it was hard to hear him talk that way about her. I pulled it out and pointed it at him."Whoa, whoa, whoa. Let me finish." Elliot shifted underneath Matt's grip. Matt put the gun closer to Elliot's head. Elliot just sat there silent. My grip on my gun was to tight and I had to re-grip it.

"Continue," I siad, not wanting to hear the rest of it but it was his confession.

"My plans got a little messed up when Frankie got pregnant. But Thomas convinced Amaranda it was Marco's and to give it away. That was when I had originally but the pregnancy messed it up and Thomas wasn't ready to leave Frankie. She was finally getting to old for him and he killed Amaranda. As planned she was sent to you, she was a hand full and was hurting. I knew about her nightmares. I thought she would break you. You are much stronger then I remembered... when we were together you were so broken from your mom beating you I thought you still might be the same. You weren't. Although you still saw broken in you, but it is not the same kind. Well when this man here-" I cut him off.

"His name is Elliot."

"Oh well when Elliot," he nodded his head towards me when he he said Elliot's name," realized we had been engaged before I could see the hurt in his eyes and the worry in yours. I knew you felt for him deeply, much more than you should. When he asked to use the bathroom I was going to give you your last chance. You denied as I thought you would and that made me even angrier. I heard him coming down the hall and I took my last chance to ruin you and kissed you. When I pulled away I knew I was successful. You eyes gave it all away. I wanted you to suffer and from the way you ran out of my house, you did. I knew I ruined your chances with being with him as more than just your partner. I ran because you guys were on my tail."

"You killed Amarnda and your father because of me?"

"Yes, and I can see that alone affect you," He smirked. I looked down at Elliot. He was still silent. "Do you love him?" Matt asked pulling on Elliot's shirt. I question caught me off guard. He moved the gun closer to Elliot's head.

"Yes," I barley said.

"Say it loud like you mean it!" He yelled.

"Yes! I love him! I love him with all my heart!" I yelled tears running down my face. I could help it I just announced my love for him for the first time and he had a loaded gun to his head. Matt moved the gun to his own head and shot. He fell to the ground, as did Elliot. I ran over to him. I set his head on my lap. I picked up my walkie talkie off my hip, "this is Detective Olivia Benson with the Mattahan SVU. I need a Bus at 116 Main St. Officer injured." I set the walkie down on the floor.

"Did you mean it?" I looked back down at Elliot.

"Mean that I loved you?"

"Yeah,"

"Yes I did. I love you with all my heart." I rubbed the top of his head.

"I love you too," He reached out and whipped away left over tears. I moved my head down and glided my lips on his. He rested his hand on the back of my neck and deepened the kiss. I heard the sirens in the distance. I pulled back and smiled at him. He smiled back at me. His eyes slide closed.

"Elliot?" I asked, hoping for a response. "Elliot," I tapped his face, "Elliot, answer me," nothing. I tapped it again, "Elliot, stay with me." I heard the medics run inside the house. The ran into the living room and noticed us and the other two dead bodies. They called for more Buses. One walked over to me and Elliot.

"We need to take him in." He said.

"Okay, but I am going with." They lifted him onto a stretcher.

"What is your relationship?"

"He's my partner." They nodded and let me on. On the way down they tried to wake him up. They rolled him into the E.R. and I waited out side. My phone went off. "Benson."

"Hey Olivia, it Munch, Captain wants to know where you guys are?"

"We are at the hospital."

"What happened?"

"Long story. I will explain when we get back." The doctor walked out.

"Well-"

"I have to go bye." I hung up my phone and the doctor walked up to me. "Is he okay?"

"He is fine. He has got a few broken ribs and a concussion, but besides that he is a healthy as a pickle." I gave him an odd look. Who says that?!

"Can I see him?"

"Yea," he moved his hand at the door. I walked in. Elliot sat up in his bed.

"Hey beautiful." He said.

"Hey yourself," I walked over to his bedside and pecked his lips. "You have to stop hurting yourself you'll soon be in a body cat." He smiled and took my hand. Out of now where Kathy bursted into the room. He quickly without even thinking let go of my hand. She walked over to the bed. She took his left and held it up to her heart. I noticed both of their rings.

"You scared the living shit out of me Eliiot." She put his hand back down, but there fingers still intertwined. "You okay?" His eyes quickly looked over to mine, then back to hers. I could feel the wetness forming in my eyes.

"Yeah I am fine just a little rattled." She laughed and kissed his forehead. I couldn't take it anymore and ran out of the room. I ran outside and cried. I could I do this! I love him but he still loves his wife! How can you love to people at once?


	9. I'm What!

--------------------(few weeks later)

Elliot and I are keeping our affair secret for know. He is trying to make it look like everything is fine with Kathy. It still hurts to think of him with her. I just hope one day I will be able to love him and him to love me without anything holding back.

I sat in my desk, Elliot in front of me. My stomach started feeling quissy.

"Olivia, you alright?" Elliot asked.

"I think I'm gonna-" I got up and ran to the bathroom. I shut the door behind me. I knelt down to the tolet and my lunch came back up. This was the third time this week I have gotten sick. I pulled myself back up and made my way to the sink. I rinsed out my mouth, I reached in my back pocket and pulled out my blue phone. I dialed Casey number in.

"Hello, it's Casey. Sorry I'm not here right know I am to busy with medical school because my lost job didn't like the way I handled thing. So just leave a message." *beep*

"It's Liv. I was just wondering if you could take me to the doctor. call back.-" she cut me off.

"Hi Olivia sorry I was sleeping. Why do you need to go to the doctor?"

"I have been getting really sick a lot lately."

"Do you have a fever?"

"No, just really nauseous. Really dizzy too... I think I might be dehydrated."

"You sound pregnant."

"No, I couldn't be."

"You still sleeping with El?"

"Yea, but-"

"Does he use protection?"

"No, but-"

"No buts. I think you're pregnant. When is the appointment?"

"Tomorrow morning at 9"

"Okay I'll pick you up at 8."

"Alright, see you tomorrow." I hung up. Could I be? I let out a sigh. I heard a knock on the door. I turned around and opened it. I saw Greylek. I didn't like her that much but she was good at her job.

"You alright? Elliot said you ran out of there really fast and you didn't look so good."

"Yeah, I am fine. I just something bad, I guess." Before she could say anything else I ran back to the toilet and let it have it. I felt someones hands pull my hair back. I got up and moved back to the sink.

"You think you're okay to finish the day?" She asked.

"Yeah, like I said it's probably just something I ate. I should be fine...Thanks."

"For what?"

"For holding my hair back."

"You're welcome." I re-rinsed my mouth. "Well lets get back to work." I nodded and fallowed her. What Casey said was still getting to me. I walked in and saw Elliot. I had to force myself not to turn back around.

"You okay Liv?" Elliot said walking up to me.

"Yeah, I am fine. I think I ate something bad though."

"Well what all you had today was the take out Fin ordered. Me and you had the same thing and I'm fine."

I had to think fast. "I uh, stopped at a dinner with Frankie this morning."

"Oh," he looked at me. I knew he could tell I was lying.

-------------------------------------------------(doctors office)

"Hello, I am Doctor Brown. Nice to meet ya'll." He put his hand out. I shook his hand.

"I am Olivia," I said then pointed to Casey, "and this is my friend Casey." He shook her hand.

"What seem to be the problem?"

"I have been getting sick a lot, and I have been really dizzy. I don't have a fever or anything. I don't know what's up."

"I will run some test and see what we find."

"Okay... wait... what kind of test?"

"Just the normal. Blood and urine." I cringed. I hated needles. I have been cut and batter but I HATED needles. They ran the test and we waited.

"Liv, I am sure it will be fine. What it comes back."

"Yeah, you're right. Besides I have always wanted a baby." The doctor walked back in.

"Well Ms. Benson congratulations you're almost 3 months a long." I sat there staring blankly at nothing. "Ms. Benson?"

"Oh I am sure she will be fine." Casey said. The doctor left the room. "Liv?"

"I'm...I'm" is all I could get out.

"Yes you are. Now lets get you back to work." I got down. As we were walking out my phone went off.

"Benson," I said shakily.

"Where are you? You're an hour late. I thought I woke you up this morning?"

"Sorry El. I guess I fell back asleep. I will be in soon."

"Okay, love you."

"Love you too, bye." I hung up. I looked back at Casey. "I don't know how to tell him. He's still married for god sake!" I plopped down in her car seat.

"Liv, you got to tell him."

"i will. I just don't know when or how."

"Just make sure it's within the next 7 months." We both laughed. She drove to he squad house. She walked up with me just to say hi to everyone.

"Casey what are you doing here?" El asked.

"Liv called said she woke up late and needed a ride." She gave him a hug.

"So you're gonna give her a ride anytime she is late?"

"No." She walked away from him and gave everyone else a hug. When she got to Greylek they shook hands. "Ex ADA Casey Novak. Soon to be M.D. Casey Novak."

"ADA Kim Greylek. Nice to meet you."

"You too," Casey walked back over to Elliot and me. "She seem like a hard ass."

I chuckled. "She is, but she get the job done. She already got her life threatened. She was choked my some bimbo." Casey laughed.

"Ah, how I miss it here. I am going to go say hi to Cap and leave." She reached out and gave me a hug. She whispered in my ear,"tell him." She pulled away and I mouthed 'I will." She walked off to go talk to Cragen.

"Liv, can I talk to you?"

"Yea sure..." I wondered why he asked.

""Privately?" I nodded and we walked to the boys locker room.

"What is it?"

"I am leaving Kathy for good." I felt a big weight lifted and I felt relieved.

"Don't leave her because of me." I looked up into his eyes,

"That is only part of the reason. I only went back for Eli. I just can't do it anymore. I don't love her, I love you." I put my hand out to touch his cheek. He moved in closer. He kissed me passionately. He slide his arm up my back. His phone when off. He pulled away and I pouted.

"Stabler," he answered. "No Kathy I just can't do this,"pause. "So what if there is?" Pause." Yes there is another women, that is not why," pause. I could not help but smile. "I only went back for Eli, I can't keep lying to myself." He hung up and moved back over to me. He laid his lips on mine once again. "Where were we?" I pulled his face to mine. I lost my footing and stumbled hack into the lockers. Elliot moved one of his hands from my back and onto the locker behind me for balance. He took his other and slide it down to the hem of my shirt. He pulled it up and off. I pulled him closer to me. His mouth to my neck and began sucking at it. He moved back up and pulled his shirt off. I arched my back up off the locker so her could get acces to the back of my bra. He got the message and slide it right off. I pressed my bare cheek against his. It seem like are body were made for each other. I looked into his eyes and he was looking into mine. "You are absolutely beautiful," he whispered in my ear. I slide my hands up his back. -He moved his head back down to mine.

"Elliot?" We heard softy. Not caring I reached down for Elliot's pants. "Elliot," we heard again but louder. Before we could even react the door swung open. "You in-" Cragen looked at me and Elliot half naked. Elliot pulled away. I moved my arm up as fast as I could to cover my breast, but it was to late and had already been seen. Cragen looked away. "What the hell is going on in here?" he asked. Cragen looked back but only at Elliot. Elliot opened his mouth to talk but before he got a word out Cragen stopped him "No, don't even answer that. Just get dressed and come to my office." He walked out the locker room. I reached down for my cloths and put the back on. Elliot did the same. He looked at me.

"It will be okay. He was bound to find out sooner or later."

"Yeah I just wish he could have found out without seeing my boobs." I let out a small laugh. I moved over and pecked his lips. He quickly grabbed my hand and let go. We walked out and into Captains office.

"How long?"he asked. we looked at him with confusion. "How long has this been going on?" We both shrugged. You could tell he was getting mad. More sternly he repeated, "how long!?"

"Not very, a couple months I think." I said. He looked t us with disgust.

""Pull it together and stop acting like children." He gave out in a response. I looked at Elliot, who was standing beside me. I could tell he got mad by that last remark.

"We're not acting like children!" He let out. I put my hand on his shoulder to try and calm him down.

"Elliot please calm down." My voice was soft and soothing. But it didn't work.

"No, why should he tell us what we can and can't do!" He snapped.

"Because I am your boss," Cragen said. Elliot looked angerly at him and stormed out.

"I am sorry Captain, but we won't stop. We love each other, that is all there is to it."

He opened his mouth then closed it. Then he sad, "Well then you are partners with Munch."

"Can i have Fin?"

"Why?"

"I don't want Elliot and Fin to kill each other. And I also think Fin understands me better, he knows me better too." I smiled, so did he.

"Fine," he said. I walked out of his office.


	10. Everyone finds out

**Exact were I left off.**

---------------------------------(squad room)

I walked out the door and headed off to find Elliot. I heard Cragen call for Munch and Fin in his office. I walked over to Elliot who was by the elevator.

"Where are you going?": I asked him.

"I have to go to my lawyer."

"Okat, well-"

"I gotta go, can you tell me later?"

"Yea," I kissed him goodbye and he got on the elevator. I start walking back but stopped. Placing my hand on my stomach. "It is all gonna be okay."

"Who are you talking to?" I looked up stund that someone heard what I said. Fin was standing there.

"Oh um, no one," I said removing my hand off my lower stomach. He raised his eyebrow.

"It looks like I am your new partner. What happened between you and El?"

"Captain didn't tell you?"

"No."

"Elliot and I are seeing each other now and have been for the past 3 months. Cragen caught in the boys locker room and now we are partners."

"Finally!"

"Why is everyone saying finally?"

"Finally what?" Munch asked walking towards us. Fin smiled and turned around to him.

"Liv and El are Finally together!" I reached over and hit his arm. "What?"

"I don't want everyone to know!" I yelled. The whole room went silent. Everyone all looked at me. I could feel my face get hot and I burried it.

"You think I am going to tell everyone?" Munch said. They both laughed. "Well I have to say it too. Finally! Now who take out?" I felt my stomach going south.

"Nah, we had take out yesterday. How about sushi?" Fin replied.

"Sushi it is." Munch picked up his phone on his desk. I put my hand over my mouth trying to hold down my food.

"You okay?" Fin asked.

"Yea, I just have some indigestion." He nodded and told Munch what he wanted.

-----------------------------------(later that day)

I moved the last thing to my new desk and sat down. I heard the doors open. I looked. Elliot in then stopped.

"What the hell is going on?" he asked. I walked up to him.

"Well after you walked out of Cragen office I told we wouldn't stop then he told me I was partners with Munch I told him to give me Fin because of your guys feud. Then everyone found out we were together. Then we switched desk. That is what happened." I let out a breath. "That was mouth full." I smiled.

"Thanks, glad you filled me in." He chuckled. I hugged him. He kissed my forehead.

**Sorry that this was short. The next couple chapters are. But don't forget reviews... no one seems to review? **


	11. waking up to you

--------------(Liv's Apartment)

I handed Elliot his glass of wine. I took my cranberry juice off the counter. Elliot thinks both drinking wine. I still haven't told about the baby. I was 3 1/2 months and not big at all!

" Where is Frankie?" Elliot asked heading back to the couch. I fallowed.

"Her friend Cricket'," I sat down next to him. "We have all night alone." He smiled getting my hint. He set his glass down on the coffee table and kissed me. I pulled. "I'll be right back. I have to use the restroom." I got up and walked to the bathroom. After using the restroom I looked in the mirror. I turned to the side. A little bump was placed on my belly. I sighed. I was planning on telling him tonight I just didn't know how to bring it up. When I walked back out Elliot was messing around with his pocket. Laughing I asked, " What are you doing?" He looked up. With a swift movement of his arm he pulled out what looked like a small little black box. He got down on his knee. He opened the box and inside was a golden ring with two diamonds on it. I gasped.

"Olivia, I spent everyday for the past 10 years waking up wondering what it would fell like to wake up next to you. I finally I know the feeling. It is the best feeling ever! I want to wake next up next to you the rest of my life. Will you marry me?" He finally got out. I smiled.

"Elliot Stabler you can have every single morning for the rest of my life." I said. Slid the ring on my finger and stood up. He kissed me once again, and once again I pulled away. What could be the better time to tell him?

"What is it?"

"I think you should know. El, were not even married yet and starting a family. I am 3 1/2 pregnant." His smiled got even bigger. It went from ear to ear. He picked me up, kissed me, and spun me all at the same time. After about three turns he set me down.

"I think I am the happiest man in the world right now."

"Good," I smiled. I reached and grabbed my drinking. Slowly moving it to my mouth, right before I could make it Elliot placed his over the top. I looked up at him.

"That's your 3rd glass Liv!"

"It's cranberry juice," he let go. I took my sip. I puckered my lips from the tartness. "I was planning on telling you tonight anyway. I thought this was the perfect time, especially after you purposed." We smiled together. He moved to my stomach.

"Hey little one, it's daddy." I smiled at his efforts for the baby to hear him. I placed my hand on my stomach, and he put his on top of mine. He kissed my stomach and stood back up. He cupped my face.

"It's pretty late I think we should head off to bed." I suggested.

"Okay," He let go of my face and grabbed my hip. By his side we headed off to bed. My wish came true, I can love him without anything without anything holding me back.

**Okay this may seem like the end but it's not. There are still 9 more chapters to the story so that means more drama rama and more suprises. So stay tuned :D. I am finally finished handwritting it and I think you guys will like it :D.**


	12. leaving svu

---------------(next morning)

My eyes flicked open. I let out a yuan. The morning light blinded me for a moment. I had actually slept through the night...well almost. A smile made its way to my face. I wrapped the sheet around my naked body and walked out of my room. Once I got in the living room I noticed Elliot in the kitchen.

"Since when do you cook?" I asked walking into the kitchen. I tussled my messy hair.

"Since I took culinary classes in high school." He looked up at me and notice I was wearing my black bed spread. "You look beautiful."

"Yeah, right." I pushed my wild hair down trying to put it back into its place. I looked around. "We're gonna need a bigger house."

"There's gonna be five of us. You, me, Frankie, Eli, and this little guy."

"What makes you think it's a boy?"

"Hope." I laughed. "Why don't you go get dressed. Breakfast should be done when you are." I nodded. I entered my bathroom and got in the shower.

When I got out I put on my favorite dark blue jeans and blue v-neck shirt. I applied my make-up and fixed my hair. I walked back out and to the kitchen. Right when I sat down at the dinning room table my pager went off, so did Elliot's. I looked at it '911, new case.' I sighed and shut of the alert. The glare of my ring caught my eye.

"Whose is going to leave?" My tone quite.

"I guess I will. I can transfer into Neurotics or Homicide."

"Thank you." I looked down at my food. "I have some take out containers. We could put the food in them and eat at work."

"Alright."

-------------------------------------(crib)

We walked in side by side. I set my food down on my desk. Fin was eyeballing it.

"Do not even think about it Fin, it's mine!"

"But it looks so yummy!"

"If I come back out here and you're eating I will bite your hand off."

"Viscous much?" I laughed. With Elliot by my side we walked into Cragen office.

"Hey Cap." I said. He looked up. His eye only made it to my hand. He walked to the front of his desk and leaned on it.

"Congratulations."

"Thanks you," we replied in sync.

"Whose leaving?"

"Uh, I am. Liv was made for this unit." El said. I grabbed his hand gently.

"Okay," Captain turned around. He picked up a sheet of paper off his desk. "Here's the transfer sheet. You two will do desk work till I get Liv a new partner."

"Okay," I said a little to quickly. Cragen raised his eyebrow. He could tell something was up, he just didn't know what. I turned around and walked out to my desk. I pulled out a file.

"Dang Liv, think you could have said yes any quicker? Might as well just say 'hey guess what I'm pregnant too'." I slapped his arm. "Ow! What?" He rubbed his aarm.

"I don't want anyone to know yet!" I yelled but only loud enough for him to hear.

"What? They're gonna find out anyway." I sighed and started my paper work.

**Sorry for yet another short chapter. The next one is some what longer.**


	13. new partner

--------------------------(few days later) [1-6]

I put the papers back in the file and set it back in the filing cabinet. I was finally done! I walked in Captains office to tell him.

"Hey Captain, I am done with all possible desk work." I said walking in. I stopped when I saw Dani. "What is she doing here?"

"I am your new partner." She put her hand out.

"Olivia Benson," I shook her hand. "We've met before tho."

"We have?"

"Yea, a while ago."

"I have heard of you but I never met you."

"We have... just forget it." I forced a smile. I awkwardly turned to Cragen. "Like I said I am done with all of my paper-work."

"Good. You guys can get to work on this case." He tossed a folder down on his desk. I grabbed the folder and walked out towards my desk. I plopped it down and sat. While I was reading Dani walked up to her new desk.

"How is Elliot doing?" She asked. I looked up.

"Why does it matter?" I replied a little jealous she was asking about him.

"Forget I asked." I dropped my head down and continued reading the information on my new. My hair fell in front of my face. I pushed it behind my ear. "How is the lucky guy?"

"Huh?" I replied. Annoyed I looked back up.

"Your ring. Elliot told me you were single. So whose the lucky guy?"

"Elliot is, that is why he is not here anymore." Her eyes looked like she was hurting. Ignoring it I got back to work.

----------------(later that day)

It was about 10 o'clock. The day was almost done. We already solved the case, the man admitted to raping her. Could you be any dumber?

I was suppose to go out with Casey tonight after work.

10 finally came. Casey picked me up in the parking lot.

"Hey Casey, where to?" I said getting into the car.

"Eh, I don't know. How about Taco Bell?"

"Wow! That is one crazy night out." I laughed.

"Well I would say the bar, but you are pregnant."

"True," I said. She started her car. Dani walked out fo the building.

"What the hell is Dani doing back here?" I guessed she saw her.

"She is my new partner."

"I thought she couldn't handle the cases. Maybe she just couldn't handle Elliot."

"Elliot told me that too... wait. What do you mean she couldn't handle El?"

"Come on Liv. You know his temper." I nodded.

"For some odd reason she looked hurt when she found out I was engaged to Elliot."

"Oh. no."

"Oh no, what?"

"I thought they just had an affair I didn't think she fell for him."

"Casey what the hell are you talking about?"

"Dani didn't leave because she couldn't handle the cases... she left because she fell in love with Elliot. They had an affair." I held back tears.

"Why didn't he tell me?" I said weakly.

"You didn't know about the affair?" I shook my head."Oh shit, Liv. I'm sorry." She pulled up into the Taco Bell parking lot. "He probably didn't tell you because it didn't mean anything."

"Apparently it did to Dani." We walked in and ordered. I sat down in one booths. My phone went off. I t was Elliot. I was in no mood to talk to him so I pressed end and shut off my phone. I took a deep breath. Finally I took a bite of my food.

"Liv, you have to talk to him."

"Why should I? He didn't tell me that. I have told him everything."

"You should tell him because you are having his baby. That baby needs a dad."

"Fine, I will talk to him but only because of my baby." We finished eating and she dropped me off.

**REVIEWS PLZ :(**


	14. can't handle this

**Sorry it's been a while**

I walked inside. Elliot was sitting on the couch looking at home magazines. I walked up to him.

"Why did not you tell me?" I slammed my pursed down. He looked up at me.

"Tell you what?"

"About Dani."

"I didn't think it mattered."

"Well it does. She is my new partner."

"I thought she couldn't handle the cases."

"No. She couldn't handle being in love with you!" I screamed at him.

"What?!"

"Don't even give me that! Don't tell me you didn't know! I just can NOT believe you slept with her!" I turned around.

"What a minute!" He grabbed my arm, pulling me back. "I never slept with her!"

"Right," I said sarcastically. He wouldn't let go of my arm.

"I didn't! It was just a kiss! Why should it matter anyway?"

"It matters because you didn't tell me!"

"Oh, well I am soooooooooo sorry! It was the past! We weren't together yet! I was thinking of you anyway!"

"Why?"

"Because even then I loved you. I have loved you since the first time I saw you.". I sighed. He let go of my arm.

"I... I can't handle this. I- I just need to think. I am going to bed." I walked up to the entrance of the hall-way. I put my hand of the conner of the wall. I turned my head back slightly,"can you sleep on the couch. I need to calm down. I don't need any more stress, especially for the baby."

I could hear hurt in his voice when he answered,"okay." I glided my hand off the wall and walked down the hall. I turned the knob. I shut the door behind me. I drug my feet all the way to my bed and sat. I put my hand to my head. Weeping silently in my hand. a knock filled the room.

"Who is it?" I asked.

"Frankie..."

"Come in," I let out. I whipped away my tears. Frankie entered.

"You okay Liv? I heard you guys fighting."

"I just don't get why he didn't tell me."

"Prolly 'cause he thought it didn't mean anything... at least to him. I mean really, have you told him everyone you have been with?"

"No..." I glanced down at my bedding.

"o you remember how hurt you were when Elliot was mad at you when matt kissed you? How bad you wanted him to forgive you?"

"Yea I guess you are right.."

"Of course I am." I smiled. "Well I gotta get to sleep." She gave me a hug and head off to her room. My dresser was in front of my bed so it wasn't a long walk. I changed into my pj's. I walked out into the hall-way. The light was off in the hall so I carefully made my way toward the light in the living room.

"Hey," I hear Elliot say. I stopped dead in my tracks, I thought he had heard me. "Nah, I am fine. Well Kind of, me and Liv got into a fight," a pause. I figured he was on phone. "Yeah, about that. I... I uh gotta tell you something,"pause. He laughed,"no not that. Liv uh... Liv's pregnant,"pause,"I don't know."

My foot felt like it was giving out. I barely feel and hit the wall. It was quite, but loud enough to be heard.

"What the hell was that?" Elliot asked. I could hear him getting up. I ran back into my room as quickly as I could. I crawled under my navy blue bed spread. ho was he talking to? My eyes fluttered and I fell into a deep sleep.


	15. facing the facts

_I tried to scram but nothing came out. I ran in the pitch black room. I could not find any of the walls. I put my hands out in front of me in search for them. No such luck came my way tho. The noises were getting louder as he was getting closer to me. 'How could he see me?' I thought. I was terrified. I tripped over a very blunt object on the ground. I fell to the floor, it was could and damp. I felt something climb on top of me. I failed at trying to scream again. His hands searched over every part of my body, he then flipped me over. I tried to fight back but he was to strong, and I was to weak._

"_You are worthless," he whispered in my ear. It sent shivers down my spin. My lips were quivering uncontrollably. "No one loves you. You might was well be dead," he continued. At a very quick pace he de-clothed me as I laid there helpless... worthless. I could feel his presence hovering over me. He roughly jerked my hips up and forced himself in me._

I jolted up away from my pillow. I sat there in cold sweat trying to catch my breath. I have been having a lot of nightmares lately, over Harris, but this was the first time he ever actually raped m. I wished he could leave my mind, forever, and never return to haunt my memories. I looked over at the other side of my bed where Elliot was not laying. I pushed my blankets off of me and stood up. I tip toed down the hall. Elliot was laying on the couch, snoring. I needed to feel close to me. I felt so scared, miserable, worthless,... alone. He was the closet thing to security I have ever had. I was now knelt down in front of the couch, my face was right next to his. I put my hand on his cheek. He flinched under my fingers. He eyes battered open.

"Liv?" he questioned. I put my finger over his lips.

"Don't say anything, let me. I am sorry I got mad at you. I should have believed you when you said you only kissed her. I should not have even gotten mad. We were not together. I guess I was just jealous that she got you before I did." I sighed. He smiled.

"Thank you," he replied. He sat up on his pillow. "What are doing up so late?". I hadn't even looked at the time. I turned my head and looked at the clock on the wall. It was 2:30 am. "Did you have another nightmare?" I lost his eye contact, and found it on the floor. "Olivia, what happened in the dream?" I took a deep shaky breath.

"I was in a dark room, and I couldn't see anything. I tried to scream but nothing would come out. I tried to find the walls, for light, but I couldn't. I kept hearing him coming closer, and closer. I tripped over something and hit the floor. It was so cold. He climbed on top of me, rubbing everywhere, then he flipped me over. He took off my cloths, and....and...." I stopped myself. I couldn't finish the sentence because I could hardly breath, overwhelmed by tears. He took me in his big, strong arms. "He told me I was worthless, and better off dead. And I... I believed him! Elliot I believed him!"

"You are not worthless, you are loved." I smiled at him. I laid down next to him on the couch until we both fell asleep.

--------------------------------(7:30 am)

"Olivia! Elliot! Wake the hell up!" I heard Frankie yell. I shook my head. I let out a loud grunt. My eyes drew open. Frankie was walking into the kitchen. I could smell coffee. I sat up. I shook Elliot awake. I looked at the clock :7:30am.

"Shit!" I gasped getting up off the couch.

"What?" Elliot asked dragging out his voice, he was still waking up. His eyes were narrow.

"I have 15 minutes to get to work!" His eyes grew wide. He stood up beside me. Frankie walked back in with 3 cups of coffee.

"Yeah, you alarm clock has been going off for an hour. I tried waking you guys up four times!" She set two of the cups on the table. "I'll take a cab to school." I nodded. She headed off to her room with her coffee. I picked up my cup and drank my coffee as fast as I could. We got ready. Elliot dropped me off. Elliot was put in homicide and the building was two blocks down. I entered the room and saw Dani. I had to stop myself from yelling at her. I sat down.

"Olivia in my office, now!" I turned around as Cragen was walking back in his office. I pushed my chair back and stood up. Dani looked over at me with a very confused look. I shrugged my shoulders. I walked in, instantly he said, "when were you planning on telling me?"

"About?"

"Your pregnancy!"

"So you are the one that Elliot called last night." He looked at me telling me to answer with his eyes.. I sighed," I don't know..."

"How far along are you?"

"About four months," he sighed. "I have only known for 1 thought." I was trying to make it sound better so he wouldn't be as mad. He moved his head like he was thinking. He lifted it back up.

"You are still partners with Beck, but you guys are stuck on desk and interrogation."

"Captain, that is not fair for her! She should be out on the field. I will do it." He looked at me with a very smug expression.

"Alright, she will switch with Munch and Fin."

"Thank you."

"You know, I have it to here with your games." He put it hand to his eye level." If I hear anything else from someone else I will explode. So do you have anymore surprised for me?" I shook my head. "Good, you better not. Leave." He gestured his hand towards the door. I listened and left the room. I was satisfied tho . Now I would not have to deal with Dani so much. I smiled walked up to me.

"What was that about?" she asked. She folded her arms.

"Well, I am still partner but I can only do paper work and interrogation. You will be switching with Munch and Fin." I leaned my right hip on the edge of her desk. She sat down awkwardly.

Dani lost, asked," Why? What did you do?"

"Elliot and I are having a baby." I stated. Once again her eyes gave her hurt away. I couldn't take it anymore."Dani, what the fuck is your issue?!" She drew back in her seat. The whole room stopped and looked over at us. She was surprised, as was I. I didn't drop the F bomb that often, but in this case it was need. I continued my rampage," You need to need get over Elliot. We are together now and there is nothing anyone can say or do to bring us apart! You and him are long done. Face the damn facts!" She looked at me stunned. Her face went back to normal.

"Okay," she said in return," you are right. I do... I was starting too, but I don't know. I am suppose to go on a date with an FBI agent. Do you know a Dean Porter." I chuckled.

"Yeah I do, I went undercover with him, We did a couple of other cases together... I think you two could work out." I smiled. I went back over to my chair and started my work.

**A/N: It is said I have more chapters then reviews..... I must say I am getting a little sad by this.... but it is not like I wont keep posting because I have people that want to read it when it is all up. but it wouldn't hurt for some reviews :D**


	16. custody battle

**Sorry I know it has been FOREVER! My apologies! **

Elliot got a lawyer for the custody battle over Eli. Kathy kept on insisting for full custody.

Today I have to got to the doctor for my check up. Elliot was suppose to come with me.

"You ready?" He asked walking up behind me.

"Yea," I turned around and we walked out the door. When we got to the doctors them did the normal and also planned on doing ultrasound, to find out the gender. Elliot sat in the chair beside.

"I am sure it is a boy," elliot said with a smile. I smiled warmly back at him. One of the nurses walked in.

"Lets find out the gender, shall we," she said. We walked down a long, white, hallway into a cold, blue tinted room. "Okay, you need you to lay down on here." She put her on a bed like chair. I fallowed her and laid down. She lifted up my shirt so she could get to my stomach. She applied this cool gel like substance on it. She took the tool off the side of the machine and rubbed it over my stomach, sliding the gel with it. I looked up at the screen. Elliot slipped his hand in mine. I saw the head and gripped El's hand a little harder. She moved it around some more. "It looks like a healthy little girl," she said with a smile. I looked back at Elliot and stuck out my tongue. He smiled. She pulled away and whipped off the tool and my stomach. She brought us back to the room we were in earlier.

The doctor asked us questions on how we wanted the delivery. We decided a normal hospital birth.

When we walked out the office Elliot's phone rang. "Stabler," he answered. He nodded, "Thank you." I met his eyes as he hung up.

"What?"

"That was my lawyer. The custody hearing is Friday." I nodded and we headed home.

--------------------(court [Friday, or 2 days later])

I took the day off to be in court with Elliot today. I sat there as the two lawyer debated . Kathy was sitting behind the desk, she had a very nervous look on her face. Elliot's lawyer kept asking why she wanted full custody.

Kathy stood up, "Eli is not Elliot's!" She yelled.

The judge banged his gavel. Elliot stood up and walked out of the partially empty court room . I got up and ran after him. How could Kathy do that?! Make him think it was his all this time! I found him by a bench against the wall. I walked over to him.

"El, you okay?"

"Of course not! My baby isn't my baby!" I heard foot steps. Kathy walked up to my side.

"Elliot I am sorry I should have told you." Kathy said. He just sat there. I turned to Kathy.

"Can you please leave, you have done enough." I said.

"I have done enough! You are the reason the reason this is all happening! So why don't you just shut the fuck up! I bet the only is with you is because you are having his baby. I don't even think it is his!"

"Excuse me! You don't know anything about me! And I am not you!"

"Both of you be quite!" Elliot yelled. He walked over to us. He turned to Kathy. "why didn't you tell me?"

"I thought he was... till I got the DNA tested..."

"How the hell did you get my DNA?"

"Elliot, we were married when I did it. I wasn't hard." I moved away from them and sat on the bench.

"You knew when we were married and you didn't tell me!"

"I thought you would leave me... But you left me anyway."

"Leave me alone. He turned away from her and sat down next to me. Kathy's eye 's fallowed him. She rolled them.

"Fine be with your little hussy!" She turned and walked off. I stood up to go after her, but Elliot grabbed my wrist and pulled me back. I turned toward him. He stood. His eyes filled with hurt.I could tell he was holding back tears. He set his tough hand gently on my stomach.

"I know she is mine, he said. I smiled and nodded.

"I do too," I replied. He moved his hand back on mine. "Lets go home."

"Okay."

We began walking out the court house doors.

"IT will be okay El," I re-insured him.


End file.
